FACEBOOK FAIL: How to Use Facebook Privacy Settings and Avoid Disaster
0 comments Posted by diggmore at 10:04 PMFacebook provides users with the opportunity to share just about everything: photos, links, videos, virtual gifts and random musings in the form of status updates. Under the guise of “being social” and “maintaining transparency,” Facebook (
) fiends post anything and everything about themselves on this now omnipresent social network.
This begs the question, how much is too much? Younger generations have no problem sharing nearly every detail of their lives, but is publicly posting all this minutiae really such a good idea? Knowing what you had for lunch is hardly ever going to be interesting, unless you’re a chef, and seeing your drunken antics very well may get you fired. So where do we draw the line, and for whom?
The beauty of Facebook’s many features is that now you can choose what you show and to what type of people. By using friend lists and playing with your privacy settings, you can create different views for each segment of your life.
Segmenting your friends into lists
Facebook Friend Lists can be utilized for a variety of purposes, but the biggest draw for the average user is that they can label their friends for easy adjustment of Profile Privacy Settings. Creating Friend Lists may sound harsh or judgmental, but this categorization happens every day in real life; Facebook just allows you to put it to good use.
The names or types of Facebook Friend Lists you create will depend on your use of Facebook and the overall purpose of your Profile. If it’s personal, I suggest “People You Don’t Know,” “Real (offline) Friends,” “Work People,” and “Online Buddies” for effective tweaking of privacy settings to control each list’s level of profile access.
There is no limit to how large a Friend List can or should be when discussing Privacy Settings; however, if you want to use lists to batch invite, message or tag people, you will need to create smaller, more targeted lists. But for privacy purposes, you can make each list as large as you’d like.
You can create a list from the Friends page, or choose them individually by name while working on the Privacy Settings page. Simply choose a feature you want to limit, like your Wall, and select “Customize” from the drop down. Then enter the name of the person or list you want to keep from seeing that feature. You will be prompted to create a list if you enter multiple names by hand. Privacy settings can be adjusted by hovering over “Settings” in the upper right corner of Facebook and clicking on “Privacy Settings.”
What’s safe to share?
How much you’re inclined to disclose on Facebook depends on a lot of factors, and can change based on what you did last weekend, who has recently joined the network, and what your overall goals and use of the site are. But a basic breakdown looks like this:
1. People you don’t know (your public profile listing)
First, adjust how someone you aren’t connected to views your profile. Allow them to view a bit of personal information, in case a potential employer, networking contact or old friend is looking for you. To do this, make your profile available to “My Networks and Friends” and your search visibility to “Everyone.” You should also make sure that the “Public Search Listing” box is checked off so your profile can be indexed.
Now decide what you don’t want non-friends to see and change these settings, allowing “Only Friends” to see that information. This also sets up the all-access version of your profile for your friends. “Safe” stuff typically includes Basic Info, Personal Info (depending on how much detail you provide), Education Info and Work Info. That means no photos, no videos, no wall. Applications with a more professional focus, like your blog or LinkedIn () profile, are also okay.
2. Your “real” friends
You may or may not consider online-only acquaintance to be “real” friends; if so, put them in this list. Either way, these are the people who get the full version of your profile. Things reserved exclusively for actual friends might be Photos Tagged of Me, Photo Albums you upload, Videos Tagged of Me, Wall Posts and the ability to post on your wall. You also might want to limit “fun” applications to this list as well.
3. Online buddies
In the old days, people would recommend hiding indentifying details from this group of friends, but that goes against the nature of Facebook. However, if you have children you may want to block these friends from viewing photos of your kids. Decide what works for you; you can switch your settings at any time.
4. Coworkers
Sometimes coworkers are friends, sometimes they are a kind of in-between friend. If it’s the latter, you may want to shield them from some of your Photos, Status Updates and Wall Posts. People have been caught lying about “sick” days on Facebook and fired for it, so think long and hard about how friendly you get with your coworkers.
5. Family
Yes, Facebook is finally popular enough that you might need a separate list for your family members. Depending on how cool your family is, or how out of control your photos and various Facebook antics are, adjust your settings accordingly.
Final tips
No one will know you’ve changed settings, either for them or in general; these updates will not show up in your news feed, so block people with abandon. Also note that photo albums settings must be changed individually, either when you set up a new album or by going to the Photos section of the Privacy page. However, any photo you use as a profile picture goes in a separate album called “Profile Pictures” which the settings cannot be changed for. So don’t make an inappropriate photo your profile pic. But you knew that.
No matter how knowledgeable you are and how much research you do, there will come a time when someone disagrees with something you write. Might be a friend on Facebook (
) or a stranger on Twitter (
) or your blog. How you handle a differing opinion will speak volumes about you and can either enhance (or undermine) your personal credibility.
When you encounter conflict in the face-to-face work environment, you can go into that person’s office, have a private chat, talk out the matter then go out for a beer. But, how do you handle it in the world of social media? And with the whole world watching?
Let’s use an example. Say you’re a Mac and I’m a PC. You write something about how great Macs are…and I decide to write a vivid response about my differing view. There are 3 things to remember when responding to differing points of view.
1. Don’t take it personally
Chances are the negative comment is not about you personally. It’s about something that you wrote. Yes, there’s a difference. No one is calling you stupid, ugly or talking trash about a close family member. They’re just saying they don’t agree with what you wrote.
So let’s use the example above. You write an article about how great Macs are and I write a reply that Macs are lame because you can’t right click. (Might seem like a simplistic example but people can get very attached to their computers.)
2. Process before responding
You might be tempted to shoot off an immediate knee-jerk reply but resist that urge. It’s important to take time, fully understand the other guy’s position, and compose your thoughts. Determine the purpose of your reply. (And, as tempting as it may be…the purpose is not pwning the guy back.)
The other thing to remember is…by just allowing a little bit of time, other people could give you some creative inspiration or maybe even help fight your battle. For example, someone recently posted a comment on my blog. Something that I needed to respond to. As I was compiling my thoughts, another comment came in. That next comment was directed at the same person and helped me refine my reply. So patience can indeed be a virtue.
3. Find something to agree with
This is important. Try to find something…even if it seems minor, that you can agree with. It helps to balance the conversation.
Using our Mac/PC example, you might say you agree the no right click capability is a pain but the stability of the operating system far outweighs the inconvenience of the no right click feature. You’ve found some common ground. That opening statement immediately takes the sting out of anything else you might say.
Don’t forget when responding to differing views that conversation is key. It’s obvious that this person felt comfortable expressing their negative or alternative view with you. The last thing you want to do is betray that trust.
So while you can’t have a private convo and buy this person a drink afterward, it’s possible to have a productive and beneficial difference of opinion. You might need this person’s PC view some day…and you will be able to tap into them as a resource. In the end, following these three steps might mean you are achieving the goal of conversation…which is pretty much what social media is all about, right?